Thursday, January 13, 2011

What does it all mean?

At work today I decided to send out a text message to the majority of the people in my contact list - even people I haven't spoken with in years. I am not even certain who a couple of them are. Everyone got the same text: "What were you just thinking about?" Welcome to the results in the order I received them:

Alison Bringhurst: Say What?
Alison is an old friend and coworker. She is not black.
Anne Bringhurst: Haha what? Well I'm watching a pretty great "Monk."
Anne is Alison's older sister. I'll assume she's talking about Tony's show.
Dan Butler: When I was going to be able to turn left.
Dan is a friend from high school. He avidly protests driving and texting - or used to.
Austin Hanks: Combo Nerds. Video games and sports. Someone was just talking about it at work meeting.
Austin is also a friend from high school. His job isn't as exciting as any of those thoughts make it sound.
Chris Bringhurst: About how frustrated I was with the twenty minute survey call I just did with a 90 year old insane woman. Why?
Chris is an unfortunate friend of many years. Wherever he goes he will always be talking to insane people. Conclude what you will.
Devon Roberts: Business cards . . .Why?
An old friend. Just found a new job. 
Josh Storer: Skateboarding
Co-worker. Straight forward without any questions or attempts: Josh Storer
David Bartlett: I hope my pen doesn't get scratched.
Friend and room mate. My guess is as good as yours.
Jess Soli: How cold my house is and I wish David was here.
Jess is dating David. How it being too cold connects to David  you can deduce on your own.
John Pugh: If I could make a comment in my Art class without sounding stupid.
Too late John . . . 
Isaac Gish: Were you trying to communicate telepathically with me? Should I have been thinking about something? I was just practicing.
My old friend. He has a guilt complex.
Lucas Yates: What do you mean?
Lucas is a philosopher.
Katie Wade: Grad school applications. I have been all week. Why dear?
Katie has a long-standing crush on me. 
Justin Gish: Creating an copy my magento installation that I use for ChampionFitnessUSA so I could apply updates.
He's a jerk. Obviously.
Peter Buschnyj: Shows about haunted places.
Peter is half Swedish and all  . . . unique.
Marrisa Petralia: How if you and Melysa ever got married your relationship would be that of "Barefoot in the Park" . . . and you?
Marrisa and I were in plays together. She alludes to Niel Simon's play. It's been too long since I have seen it to catch the implication. I should watch it again. The question is; Do I invite Melysa?
Dan Lee: About how raw my fingers feel from rock climbing . . . . Why?
Dan's a pal from my years in Africa. Athletic sort. Bit cold for climbing without gloves.
Matt Wilkes: Burger, fries and Coke.
Matt and I go back a long way. He was either eating or hungry. That's Matt.
Trey Patterson: What?
A very good question, Trey. Even this post that has resulted can't really answer that. 
Meg Soli: Haha What? One name off?
Meg, Meg. We don't talk much. Here, she implies that I must have accidentally sent to her a text that was meant for my girlfriend Melysa as their names would be next to each other on my list. Well played, Meg.
Summer Donovan: An article online about someone selling their wife? Lol why?
A former boss and family friend. She has recently married  . . .
Stephanie Hyde: Who is this?
Someone tired to set us up once. Cool girl. She's in a serious relationship now.
Ryan Barker: Well. Not a whole lot. Was I supposed to be thinking of something?
Ryan has recently been undergoing a sort of personal intellectual renaissance. No really, I am serious.
Tiffani Herpel: How much money I lost because I decided to eat gluten.
My dear friend Tiffani has been suffering from a migraine today. Financial strain doesn't mix well with Celiac. She's much better at other things - check out Tif Photography on the link list.
Katie Berryessa: Photography.
Katie isn't a photographer - so far as I know. But she did just become engaged, so she will need one.
Evan Sageng: Harry Potter. Why?
I met Healthy Sageng in Africa. I don't know why he is thinking about Harry, but I don't imagine it for any reason one would first guess.
Natalie Stucki: Um, wedding invitations. Why?
My sister. She is recently engaged. To congratulate her click HERE.
Ren Stucki: I'm sorry, what?
My younger brother. Don't worry about it, Ren.
Kenner Lund: Mount Everest 
Kenner likes to work out.
Jeremy Hubbard: Hitting the ping pong ball . . . ? What? Lol What was that about?
Jeremy and I were mission companions. 
Sara Childs: That I just got a professional show at pioneer theater.
Sara is a marvelous performer. She has a really splendid voice. I think she's recorded a CD or two.
Zak ???: Who is this?
Unfortunately, I have the same question. This could be my cousin Zak, but really I don't know. 
Andrew Belmont: How much I posted my book online for . . . Haha
Andrew is a bachelor.
Ben Tremblay: Hockey
Ben is a Canadian. 
Ashlyn Cronk: About how being pregnant sucks cuz everything I smell makes me sick :(
Being a man has so many perks. 
Kristi Merrill: I was thinking, who the heck is texting me?
Lost her train of thought, I imagine.
Taeler Watkins: Conjugation of passive sentences in Japanese . . .
Taeler enjoys anime. A lot.
Caleb Ellis: Why? About how good this death by chocolate would taste.
A chef.
Dave Zohner: U
Former youth group leader. I would be surprised if Dave even knows who texted him. He's coy like that.
Cassie Wilkes: You must be bored.
Matt's wife. She probably saw I texted him the same thing. Regardless the observation is fairly sound.
Christina ???: Huh?
I think this is a girl I met at a Halloween party a couple years ago.
Jenni Boyle: Chinese
Jenni speaks Arabic.
Ben Howard: I was thinking that I need to water my plants. Why?
Ben's always a laugh and a hippie. You know.
Sarah Bibb: Rubber duckies all lined up in a row. You probably think I am joking but that's really what was thinking about. I'm writing a song about OCD. What were you just thinking about?
She really does write music. And interestingly is the first one to return my query.
Hollie Massaro: Umm my baby . . . Why?
37 weeks pregnant. What else could she be thinking about?
Ricky Valadez: Beauseph, I was just thinking about changing the range of the velocities for the midi input on my Sonata in G. 
When was the last time I even saw Ricky? He's moving into the music business. Look him up.
Jenny Allen: I was thinking about my flat iron and how it it's more expensive than the one at work and it works better than mine. 
I can't remember the last time I spoke to Jenny - I know her last name was different then. She's a hairdresser.
Joe Hafen: What?
Joe's good people.
Tami Stucki: You. Didn't you see my facebook message to you?
Mother. Oops.
Steve Miller: How cool it would be if somebody I didn't know texted me a completely random question.
A dash of humor. Oh, but you do know me Steve. I just haven't texted you in a long while.
Jenny Smith: Just barely? I was thinking about the summer?
Dancer and actress. Glance at her facebook tells me she's been visiting Haiti - perhaps the inspiration behind summer thoughts in such weather?  
Wesley Adair: What?
Cousin Wesley.
Brook Berryessa: The Alice in Wonderland cartoon.
Brook is nineteen years old.
Chelsea Bybee: What? Haha. Why the street is so crazy busy.
Chelsea lives in a fairly small town.
Krista Smith: What?
Shouldn't it be Why?
Fenosoa Rambeloson: Huh? Who's this?
Rambeloson is from Madagascar, we met in Benin and now he lives in Washington.
Alivia Mauro: How many languages a client I was helping spoke and how great my coworker is at gobacks :)
Alivia and I had a brief cyber "romance" a year or so ago. We know some mutual friends, but I still have never seen her in person. Maybe she knows who I am. Does the smile connote something I'm not catching?
Dallas Gough: Who is this?
Dallas doesn't have my number either . . .
Danni Springer: That it's annoying when people talk in choir when I want to be singing.
Wonderful girl. This must really aggravate, because I don't really ever see her annoyed. 
Andrew Sargent: Who is this?
Brooke Stucki: Huh? Who is this?
My cousin. I guess we don't talk enough. Probably isn't even her number anymore.
Courtney Nicholls: New friggen job!
Friggen. That's one of her words.
Holden Green: Elephants.
He's a humorist. Try it - CLICK.

I didn't respond to any of these text messages.

The reader may also note there is no message from Melysa. 


  1. Beau. On an early morning with far too many papers to write today, I thoroughly enjoyed this pick-me-up. No wonder I've always had a crush on you.

  2. yeah yeah. you're funny and full of it.

    humor that is.
    full of humor.

  3. I just came across your blog via Tif's. and this post is fantastic. Wish I could try it out.