What does it all mean?

At work today I decided to send out a text message to the majority of the people in my contact list - even people I haven't spoken with in years. I am not even certain who a couple of them are. Everyone got the same text: "What were you just thinking about?" Welcome to the results in the order I received them:


Alison Bringhurst: Say What?
Alison is an old friend and coworker. She is not black.
Anne Bringhurst: Haha what? Well I'm watching a pretty great "Monk."
Anne is Alison's older sister. I'll assume she's talking about Tony's show.
Dan Butler: When I was going to be able to turn left.
Dan is a friend from high school. He avidly protests driving and texting - or used to.
Austin Hanks: Combo Nerds. Video games and sports. Someone was just talking about it at work meeting.
Austin is also a friend from high school. His job isn't as exciting as any of those thoughts make it sound.
Chris Bringhurst: About how frustrated I was with the twenty minute survey call I just did with a 90 year old insane woman. Why?
Chris is an unfortunate friend of many years. Wherever he goes he will always be talking to insane people. Conclude what you will.
Devon Roberts: Business cards . . .Why?
An old friend. Just found a new job. 
Josh Storer: Skateboarding
Co-worker. Straight forward without any questions or attempts: Josh Storer
David Bartlett: I hope my pen doesn't get scratched.
Friend and room mate. My guess is as good as yours.
Jess Soli: How cold my house is and I wish David was here.
Jess is dating David. How it being too cold connects to David  you can deduce on your own.
John Pugh: If I could make a comment in my Art class without sounding stupid.
Too late John . . . 
Isaac Gish: Were you trying to communicate telepathically with me? Should I have been thinking about something? I was just practicing.
My old friend. He has a guilt complex.
Lucas Yates: What do you mean?
Lucas is a philosopher.
Katie Wade: Grad school applications. I have been all week. Why dear?
Katie has a long-standing crush on me. 
Justin Gish: Creating an copy my magento installation that I use for ChampionFitnessUSA so I could apply updates.
He's a jerk. Obviously.
Peter Buschnyj: Shows about haunted places.
Peter is half Swedish and all  . . . unique.
Marrisa Petralia: How if you and Melysa ever got married your relationship would be that of "Barefoot in the Park" . . . and you?
Marrisa and I were in plays together. She alludes to Niel Simon's play. It's been too long since I have seen it to catch the implication. I should watch it again. The question is; Do I invite Melysa?
Dan Lee: About how raw my fingers feel from rock climbing . . . . Why?
Dan's a pal from my years in Africa. Athletic sort. Bit cold for climbing without gloves.
Matt Wilkes: Burger, fries and Coke.
Matt and I go back a long way. He was either eating or hungry. That's Matt.
Trey Patterson: What?
A very good question, Trey. Even this post that has resulted can't really answer that. 
Meg Soli: Haha What? One name off?
Meg, Meg. We don't talk much. Here, she implies that I must have accidentally sent to her a text that was meant for my girlfriend Melysa as their names would be next to each other on my list. Well played, Meg.
Summer Donovan: An article online about someone selling their wife? Lol why?
A former boss and family friend. She has recently married  . . .
Stephanie Hyde: Who is this?
Someone tired to set us up once. Cool girl. She's in a serious relationship now.
Ryan Barker: Well. Not a whole lot. Was I supposed to be thinking of something?
Ryan has recently been undergoing a sort of personal intellectual renaissance. No really, I am serious.
Tiffani Herpel: How much money I lost because I decided to eat gluten.
My dear friend Tiffani has been suffering from a migraine today. Financial strain doesn't mix well with Celiac. She's much better at other things - check out Tif Photography on the link list.
Katie Berryessa: Photography.
Katie isn't a photographer - so far as I know. But she did just become engaged, so she will need one.
Evan Sageng: Harry Potter. Why?
I met Healthy Sageng in Africa. I don't know why he is thinking about Harry, but I don't imagine it for any reason one would first guess.
Natalie Stucki: Um, wedding invitations. Why?
My sister. She is recently engaged. To congratulate her click HERE.
Ren Stucki: I'm sorry, what?
My younger brother. Don't worry about it, Ren.
Kenner Lund: Mount Everest 
Kenner likes to work out.
Jeremy Hubbard: Hitting the ping pong ball . . . ? What? Lol What was that about?
Jeremy and I were mission companions. 
Sara Childs: That I just got a professional show at pioneer theater.
Sara is a marvelous performer. She has a really splendid voice. I think she's recorded a CD or two.
Zak ???: Who is this?
Unfortunately, I have the same question. This could be my cousin Zak, but really I don't know. 
Andrew Belmont: How much I posted my book online for . . . Haha
Andrew is a bachelor.
Ben Tremblay: Hockey
Ben is a Canadian. 
Ashlyn Cronk: About how being pregnant sucks cuz everything I smell makes me sick :(
Being a man has so many perks. 
Kristi Merrill: I was thinking, who the heck is texting me?
Lost her train of thought, I imagine.
Taeler Watkins: Conjugation of passive sentences in Japanese . . .
Taeler enjoys anime. A lot.
Caleb Ellis: Why? About how good this death by chocolate would taste.
A chef.
Dave Zohner: U
Former youth group leader. I would be surprised if Dave even knows who texted him. He's coy like that.
Cassie Wilkes: You must be bored.
Matt's wife. She probably saw I texted him the same thing. Regardless the observation is fairly sound.
Christina ???: Huh?
I think this is a girl I met at a Halloween party a couple years ago.
Jenni Boyle: Chinese
Jenni speaks Arabic.
Ben Howard: I was thinking that I need to water my plants. Why?
Ben's always a laugh and a hippie. You know.
Sarah Bibb: Rubber duckies all lined up in a row. You probably think I am joking but that's really what was thinking about. I'm writing a song about OCD. What were you just thinking about?
She really does write music. And interestingly is the first one to return my query.
Hollie Massaro: Umm my baby . . . Why?
37 weeks pregnant. What else could she be thinking about?
Ricky Valadez: Beauseph, I was just thinking about changing the range of the velocities for the midi input on my Sonata in G. 
When was the last time I even saw Ricky? He's moving into the music business. Look him up.
Jenny Allen: I was thinking about my flat iron and how it it's more expensive than the one at work and it works better than mine. 
I can't remember the last time I spoke to Jenny - I know her last name was different then. She's a hairdresser.
Joe Hafen: What?
Joe's good people.
Tami Stucki: You. Didn't you see my facebook message to you?
Mother. Oops.
Steve Miller: How cool it would be if somebody I didn't know texted me a completely random question.
A dash of humor. Oh, but you do know me Steve. I just haven't texted you in a long while.
Jenny Smith: Just barely? I was thinking about the summer?
Dancer and actress. Glance at her facebook tells me she's been visiting Haiti - perhaps the inspiration behind summer thoughts in such weather?  
Wesley Adair: What?
Cousin Wesley.
Brook Berryessa: The Alice in Wonderland cartoon.
Brook is nineteen years old.
Chelsea Bybee: What? Haha. Why the street is so crazy busy.
Chelsea lives in a fairly small town.
Krista Smith: What?
Shouldn't it be Why?
Fenosoa Rambeloson: Huh? Who's this?
Rambeloson is from Madagascar, we met in Benin and now he lives in Washington.
Alivia Mauro: How many languages a client I was helping spoke and how great my coworker is at gobacks :)
Alivia and I had a brief cyber "romance" a year or so ago. We know some mutual friends, but I still have never seen her in person. Maybe she knows who I am. Does the smile connote something I'm not catching?
Dallas Gough: Who is this?
Dallas doesn't have my number either . . .
Danni Springer: That it's annoying when people talk in choir when I want to be singing.
Wonderful girl. This must really aggravate, because I don't really ever see her annoyed. 
Andrew Sargent: Who is this?
Beau.
Brooke Stucki: Huh? Who is this?
My cousin. I guess we don't talk enough. Probably isn't even her number anymore.
Courtney Nicholls: New friggen job!
Friggen. That's one of her words.
Holden Green: Elephants.
He's a humorist. Try it - CLICK.

I didn't respond to any of these text messages.




The reader may also note there is no message from Melysa.